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Tons....Yes Tons of jokes
at the Rev's Roadhouse. Click below.
Rev's
Roadhouse Jokes
Got this from
Ed.
I love this
.....someone finally hit the nail on the head.......
I don't
believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for
singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin, but
I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught
his theory of evolution.
Life, liberty
or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone
says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So, what's the big
deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of
Acts.
They're just
talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to
the players on the field and the fans going home from the game.
"But it's a
Christian prayer," some will argue. Yes, and this is the United
States of America, a country founded on Christian principles. And we
are in the Bible Belt. According to our very own phone book,
Christian churches out number all others better than 200-to-1. So
what would you expect--somebody chanting Hare Krishna?
If I went to
a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a Jewish
prayer. If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to
hear a Muslim prayer. If I went to a ping pong match in China, I
would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha. And I wouldn't be
offended. It wouldn't bother me one bit. When in Rome...
"But what
about the atheists?" is another argument. What about them? Nobody is
asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection
plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much,
bring a Walkman or! a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit
the concession stand. Call your lawyer.
Unfortunately, one or two will make that call.
One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't
think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the
world's foundations. Nor do I believe that not praying will result
in more serious injuries on the field or more fatal car crashes
after the game. In fact, I'm not so sure God would even be at all
these games if he didn't have to be. That's just one of the
downsides of omnipresence.
If God really
liked sports, the Russians would never have won a single Gold medal,
New York would never play in a World Series and Deion Sanders' toe
would be healed by now.
Christians
are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts
strip us of all our! rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us
to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible
tells us just to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and
their lawyers are telling us to cease praying. God, help us.
And if that last sentence offends you-well..........just sue
me.
Now this isn't
really fun, It actually tragic. But still in all you must see the
humor of it all. After all I believe it's
true .
Dashboard Jesus Kills Ohio
Teen
by Elroy
Willis
CINCINNATI
(EAP) - A Cincinnati teenager was killed yesterday when
her plastic Jesus dashboard figure was driven into her chest
by her car's airbag which inflated during an accident
involving two other vehicles.
17-year-old Darlene
Fulps of Cincinnati was apparently holding her Jesus figure
close to her chest when she ran through a red light and
collided with two other vehicles in a busy intersection.
"The air bag inflated
and pushed the head of Jesus straight through her heart," said
Tom Young, medical examiner at the scene of the accident. "If
it wasn't for the plastic Jesus, Ms. Fulps would still be
alive today."
"Air bags have saved
thousands of lives, but in this case it actually took a life,
thanks to Jesus," said police officer Graham Pryor, first
officer at the scene.
Robert Fulps, Darlene's
father and devout Christian man said "It was just our
daughter's time to go, and we can't question the actions of
God. My daughter loved Jesus and worshipped Him, and I think
she's probably talking to Him in heaven right now."
"We gave our daughter
the dashboard Jesus for her birthday last year, and she really
liked it," said Mrs. Gladys Fulps. "It's too bad that Jesus
ended up killing her, but we believe she's in heaven now, and
we're happy for her, and hope to re-unite with her when we get
to heaven."
"We're just glad our daughter had Jesus in her
heart when she died," said Mr. and Mrs. Fulps.
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These
are Jokes.
A rat looked through a
crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package.
What food might it contain? He was aghast to discover that it was a
rat trap. Retreating to the farmyard the rat proclaimed the warning;
"There is a rat trap in the house,
a rat trap in the house!"
The chicken clucked and
scratched, raised her head and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Rat, I can tell
this is of grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me.
I cannot be bothered by it."
The rat turned to the pig
and told him,
"There is a rat trap in the house,
a rat trap
in the house!".
"I am so very sorry Mr.
Rat," sympathized the pig, "but there is nothing I can do about it.
Be assured that I will be thinking about your problem. Yea
Right!"
The rat turned to the cow.
She said, "Like wow, Mr. Rat. A rat trap.
Now I'm scared. Duh?"
So the rat returned to the
house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's rat trap alone.
That very night a sound was heard throughout the house, like the
sound of a rat trap catching its prey.
The farmer's wife rushed to
see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see that it was a
venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the
farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital.
A
few days later she returned home with a fever.
Now everyone
knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took
his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. His
wife's sickness continued. Friends and neighbors came to sit with
her around the clock. To feed them the farmer butchered the pig.
The farmer's wife did not
get well. She died, and so many people came for her funeral that the
farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide meat for all of them to
eat.
So the next
time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it
does not concern you, remember that when there is a rat trap in the
house, the whole farmyard is at risk.
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A guy was stopped
by a game-warden in Northern Michigan recently with two buckets of
fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing.
The game warden
asked the guy, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The guy replied to
the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?!" the
warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every
night I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim around
for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I
take them home."
"That's a bunch of
hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The guy looked at
the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you.
It really works."
The game warden was
curious now. "O.K. I've GOT to see this!"
The guy
poured the fish in to the river and stood by and waited.After
several minutes, the game warden turned to the guy and said," Well?"
"Well, What?" the
guy responded.
"When are you going
to call them back?" The game warden
prompted.
"Call who back?"
The guy asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" The
guy asked.
This is from
Chopperboy
INGREDIENTS
Thought you would like to know
that they have
finally released
the ingredients in
Viagra:
3% - Vitamin E
2% -
Aspirin
2% - Ibuprofen
1% - Vitamin
C
5% - Spray Starch
87% -
Fix-a-Flat
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